City Guy in a Village

When I first the name “Bainchi” I was shocked out of my wits. Here  I was a pure city boy, born and bred in the big city about to go to college in a place called BainchEEEEE. I remember that it took me a while to calm my nerves before I could go up to my dad and say that dad I’m not going to this place. But he being the typical indian father  that he is, he said in the most casual tone “Sorry son it’s not a decision you get to make”. This brought me to the realisation that we Indians hardly get to make any of the choices in our life. Whether it be our schools, colleges ,courses and even life partners for that matter its always what others think what’s  best for us .Anyways  enough of this because all of us know it already don’t we?

The first time I saw my college I could only see the colour green all around. Now don’t get me wrong people I’m not talking huge gardens or anything but vast fields of paddy. All the rice that I had eaten all my life, I could now see it being grown around me. The view around my college reminded me of all the sceneries I used to draw on paper as a kid. There was green grass, houses with thatched mud roofs and all sorts of other things. But as a kid I could have never imagined that there could have been an engineering college amidst all this landscape.

I was shown a building that was still pretty much under construction (I could see the iron rods coming out from the walls and pillars), there was sand and brick lying everywhere and there was this disgusting smell of cement all around. We have all heard about “Love at first sight” but that moment I experienced just the opposite i.e. “Hate at first site”. But I was sure of one thing that since I had hated it so much my parents would hate it as well but to my utter shock and disappointment they actually liked it!!!And so in spite of all the pleading and begging I made to my father I was made to go to this place that was now my “COLLEGE”. So all the childhood fantasies that I had about my college were shattered by my own Fucking Destiny.

Ever since I saw all those crappy college flicks I had this fantasy that college is about fashion and chicks going around in micro minis. But now here I was in a place where even girls are made to dress up like men!!!I mean y on earth would anyone  want girls to go around in shirts and pants and y do u need to have a bloody uniform in college……While passing out of school I had happily thought that my days of going around in a stupid uniform and here I was.

And so I began my new journey in life called College. What had been a lifelong dream turned out to be a nightmare in disguise. But the time I started my college I only had one question in my mind and no it isn’t “Have I made it LAAARGEEE” but “OH GOD WILL I BE ALIVE AT THE END OF THIS???”

Breaking UP!!!!!

All of us have had that first break up in life. A phase that is generally associated with feelings of disgust, self- pity, hatred some times to the extent of murder! But why is it that just because a relationship did not work out the way we wanted it to we forget all the good things that happened to us while we were in it. How can we start hating a person who until a few days ago was the one we loved the most. If relationships are a part of life so are break ups as well.

It was on the this 14^th of feb when I was reminiscing my relationship from last year I realized that it didn’t make much of a difference at all now that I am no longer with her. The whole point  of having a relationship are the bunch of positive feelings it brings inside us. But the moment love makes us feel negative is for us to realise that   it’s no longer love but just our silly ego at work. Sure we all wanna  a date on V-day but for a change can’t we start just by loving ourselves first.

Even after my break up I have done things that I can never be proud of. For   some time I had become a person I have always hated. When   we  say stupid things about our exs after break ups it isn’t because we are pissed at them it’s because we are angry at ourselves. Why is it that all the good memories that made us happy then now make us feel sad and dejected? Instead of feeling dejected and even vindictive towards our ex shouldn’t we just thank them for bringing love into our lives and by leaving us they have just given us the opportunity to be loved again maybe by someone else!

We are all familiar with the term move on. But does moving on necessarily have to be from one relation to another. It can also be a new hobby, a new goal in life, a new passion. Life is not a fairy tale so there won’t always be a happy ending   but as far as being happy in life is concerned it’s a choice that we have always had. So let’s just for a change love ourselves instead of fussing over our past relationships.